Tuesday, August 18, 2009

An Attention Deficit Kinda Day.....

Woke up this morning and I knew as sure as shootin that my ADD was in full force. How did I know? When I finally after several attempts realized that it's virtually impossible to turn a t.v off with a cordless phone. I should have just rolled on over and gone back to bed cause the day sure didn’t get any better.. Remember the credit card bill I discussed last week? You know, the one that I received last Thursday that was due the Friday prior to. If you remember correctly I spent a considerable amount of my morning trying to convince a robot that I wasn’t going to pay a $35.00 late fee for a $29.00 charge on my credit card especially since I didn’t make the error. The crime just didn’t fit the punishment, Or is it the other way around? Well I mailed the payment that very day only to have it returned to me yesterday for no postage. Now, here is the funny part. Upon leaving this morning I grabbed the envelope, placed a stamp on it and headed for my car. My thoughts were to drive through the post office, drop it into the outgoing mail receptacle and continue on my journey. Sounded like a pretty good plan to me! As I normally do, I turned off my street and accelerated to the posted speed limit, which is 35 miles per hour. Before I knew it the envelope was blowing out of my topless car. Without thinking, I guess I just placed it unsecured on the passengers side seat and whoop there it went. Yep, I know you need a visual and that would be me frolicking around a tarred two laned country road trying to nab a damn $29.00 dollar credit card bill that I swore was already in the mail. I knew better because a few months ago in a similar scenario, a $10.00 bill got sucked out of my purse. The damn thing started swirling around mid air on the passenger's side, like a twirly bird you see a top a roof. It reminded me of one those ridiculous glass booths you see on The Ellen Show where you step in. they flip the switch on a high speed air current and you attempt to secure as many dollars bills as you possible can under category 4 hurricane conditions. I couldn't decide which looked more stupid, me fighting phantoms in the front seat of a car or the hysterical laughing that followed as cars passed. I'll probably get DENIED one day trying to secure a line of credit all over a purchase of two pair of parachute shorts. Oh yea It gets Better!
After completion of my lakefront run, I decided I would swing through Target and pick up a few needed items. As I rounded my first stop which was the hair dye section, I see ahead what I think could possible be my mother. Understand the last conversation I had with her at or around 8:00 o'clock this morning was that she was not leaving the house until after her Wednesday dental visit. Why you ask? SHE HAS NO FRONT TOOTH ! My mother has been known to hold up inside the house for weeks. She enjoys being at home and will at all cost try to avoid the wicked heat of the summer months. Not today. Low and behold I slowly inch my buggy her direction in hopes that my eyes are failing me.
N-O-T!!!!!!!!!!!! There right in front of me stands the toothless wonder. After she shoots me a quick grin and then starts laughing hysterically I cop a look that ensures the surrounding customers that I DON"T KNOW THIS LADY nor do I know where she escaped from. You think I’m kidding? Not, in this lifetime, have I ever walked out of Target with less than a $100.00 receipt.. I spent a grand total of $13.32 cents and left without the very thing I went in there for which was HAIR DYE. To top it all off I didn’t get in the door good and she calls my laughing,
"Why did you run away from your mother?" "I looked all over Target for you!" Hmm let's see........maybe because you were prematurely dressed for Halloween or... could it have been your choice of transportation, which I’m guessing was a broom. As she hung the phone up I could still hear her belly laughing and gloating to my father at how bad she embarrassed me at Target. You gotta love you some Dorothy!!!!

****Remind me tomorrow to tell you about a trip she took with me to Office Depot.

1 comment:

nancy127 said...

Tears running down my face - this is good stuff, Melissa

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