Thursday, August 20, 2009


Certainly I understand that there are different levels of Senior Living so please, don’t get confused with my reference to a Retirement Center versus a Nursing home. I am strictly referring to a lifestyle that is provided for those upper aged citizens who are unable or just frankly speaking, tired of life’s everyday rituals. I mean I just have got tell you there are some days when I wish I could pack an overnight bag and drive straight to assisted living. Now this isn’t a onetime declaration. I have said it repeatedly and it’s usually after something has occurred to alter my good mood to a bad mood.
It usually goes like this; “I’m sick of this world, I am so ready to go to a nursing home, play Bingo and eat three square meals a day”.

The first few times I said it, my husband just belly laughed and said That’s funny! The third time I politely sat him down and explained that I was dead ass serious and here is why.

Well, first of all I know for a fact that there is a waiting list to get in so that right there tells me that something good is going on through those doors. The land itself portrays a setting comparable to Central Park let alone the facilities, which from afar looks like a downsized Windsor Court. Now, I know there expensive, trust me, I have seen the figures and that is why I have one of those piggy banks inscribed with, Retirement Funds. You’ve seen them. They also have a Boob Job Fund, a Botox Fund, a College Fund. Yep, (Once again there is no Piggy Bank pertaining to the male species).

Upon registration you are declared, an elder, which in layman's terms means that you can, in what ever capacity you choose, relinquish any and all responsibilities you desire including but not limited to:
Emotional distress caused by loves ones, grown children, bill collectors, etc.
At this point there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it so what’s the point. That alone sold me hook, line and sinker.

All of your monthly bills that once clogged up your mailbox are consolidated and become one all-inclusive payment. Kinda like one of those resorts in the Mexican Riviera minus the pretty little bracelet. I’m not sure if that includes alcohol or not but I know they have a swim-up bar (clothing optional).

Three square meals a day as well as snacks and state of the art vending machines, which include Fiber One, Raisins and an assortment of natural fruit juices.

Motor Coach Service:
Walmart-Daily Round trips, complimentary assistant with loading and unloading and get this, your choice of a motorized scooter with complete free-reign of the store. You can even block aisle, run over heels and ram assess. No fines imposed.

Fully furnished library (big print books)/computer room with full time in-house Geek Squad employees and complimentary Wireless.

Around the clock entertainment including Bingo, State of the Art Flat Screens with HD, Water Aerobics. Dancing with the Oldies,, as well as weekly events such as “Senior’s American Idol”,Wheel chairing with the Stars”, “Are you Smarter then a 50 Year Old” and my favorite, “Yahtzee”


Now with that being said, please take my poll located on the upper right corner of my blog site?

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