Monday, August 17, 2009

I HATE MONDAYS.............

I have one two many times made the mistake of saying at the close of a weekend that I just hate Mondays. It just pops out of my mouth and I know when it’s coming out that I have completely screwed up. I don’t know if it’s a theatrical move on my husbands part or if he really thinks I have lost my marbles but boy does he come unwound. Why the hell do you hate Mondays? I myself have no idea why I say it other than to hear myself talk or to try and convince myself that I work as hard as he does. 99% of the time I get the same old song and dance, "I’ll be so glad when I make enough money so that you don’t have to work ONE DAY A MONTH." Which is pretty funny only because he has, one time to many, told me he didn’t want me to work and that's usually after a half a dozen pops. Apparently my pops hadn’t kicked in cause I heard it loud and clear and I damn sure didn’t forget it
I have never, once claimed to have an ambitious bone in my body and probably won’t anytime in the near future. Well sorta. You see I do hold a license as a Private Investigator in the State of Louisiana and as a matter of fact once I get involved in a case I truly enjoy it. You see I don’t make gobs of money nor do I crack big cases like you see on CSI, but in my little pea brain I think I’m Kojak with hair. No, I don’t pack a pistol nor do I hang upside down from trees with a video camera but I do manage to solve a few mysteries sitting in a courthouse picking files apart. A case for me usually entails a little road trip and depending on the complexity of the case can sometime warrant overnight stays. Now don’t believe anything you see on those stupid shows. IT AIN'T LIKE THAT!!! I don’t stay at the Ritz Carlton, I don’t eat at a 5 star steakhouse and I sure don’t have some huge expense account. Now my brother’s favorite saying is “What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine. So with keeping with the theme I came up with a really great plan. I fill out my time and expense sheet, turn it in and anxiously await a reimbursement. Then I start moaning and groaning about being cash poor. He feels sorry for me, pays the bill and magically I get a pay check and an expense check . Now ain’t that so smart! Now he tells me he can’t afford for me to go to work. Mission Accomplished!

Kojak ......"Who Loves ya, baby?"

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