Sunday, December 5, 2010

Merry Christmas Everyone....

I started writing this blog the day after what I consider one of my most unusual and most unforgettable experiences.  After several weeks I decided to stop writing as I needed sometime to digest this eerie and uncomfortable experience.  Many nightmares later and a recent similar situation that has occurred on the Northshore provoked me to pick up where I left off.  As I know this is not an upbeat and Merry Christmas blog it is something I wanted and needed to share.  I promise moving forward, to write only happy thoughts. (at least through the Holidays)

 Decided to join the corporate world 6 months ago, so blogging took a back seat to my new found career.  Speaking of back seats!  I'm going to rejoin the blog world with quite the story for you.  As my brother says "WELL WE HAD AN INCIDENT".  In my case we had "ANOTHER INCIDENT"  Let me start by saying that in the last  several months I have encountered a over sized pregnant spider under my desk, (he gave birth to at least a couple of million baby spiders that hatched next to my feet and made there way up my computer cord). That was a great day.  Next was a snake in my office, a dead alligator under my boat and a moccasin by my boat. Oh yea and the dead pig on the side of Highway 22. . 

Several months ago prior to a conference call at my office I decided to visit the ladies room only to be greeted by this


One of my co-employees who was in no way afraid of snakes and in fact he seemed quite happy with his catch.  Thanks Ranoo!!!

Traumatic to say the least but as you know time heals and memories fade.  And then some new found problem arises.  The problem above made what your about to read look like a cake walk.  I will try to give you the short version, however there is no short version so I will omit the parts I feel are not as important
Meet the passenger-by the way he doesn't like Chicken Fajitas.
We tried to lure him out with our leftovers.

Day 1
Friday 4 pm-ish, daughter Shelby comes home from Baton Rouge-She is in the process of relocating and has been packing her car to make the move. What we didn't know is that in addition to her belongings she was transporting a passenger. This is where I come in.  After a brief conversation about dinner everyone was in agreement that Mexican food would be the Friday night menu.  Fred's car was pulling a large boat that he didn't feel like unhitching and my car only fits two unless your anorexic and we just don't qualify..  Reasonable deduction is that we would pile into daughter's car and head off for a taco or two.  Okay brace yourself!  Shelby gets in driver's seat, Fred gets into front passenger seat.  Being that I know my place I jumped into the driver's side back seat. 

I ease into the back seat only to be greeted with the a medium size packed box which was pretty much in the middle of the bench seat but somewhat confining my big ass from getting comfortable.  So I begin to shove the box further to the middle attempting to scoot it to the other side.  It won't go.  I shove again trying to reposition the box so that it would slide to my right.  NOT. So I decide to peer over the box to see what is preventing my maneuver only to find a snake coiled up whipping its head and upper body around in a motion that I will most likely never forget.  Did I mention that I had at one point reached my hand down on that side to view a black jacket that I thought I recognized from my closet.  
For a moment I really thought I was hallucinating but I'm pretty sure you don't hallucinate from a blood pressure pill and an antibiotic for a sinus infection.  I know that at some point in your life you have incurred a situation that has warranted you speechless.  For what seemed like an eternity, I sat there trying to utter just something to forewarn my two loved ones in the front seats for what was about to happen. NOTHING but grunts came out that just reassured them that I was truly a lunatic.  After several attempts to jump out of the car that is now rolling in reverse I successfully pry the door open but minus a layer of skin on my middle finger.
Your probably asking yourself "where were Shelby and Fred?  They were still in the vehicle in a shock status trying to figure out what in the heck was wrong.  I am now on the cement doing a back crab walk face up.  I somehow manage to get on my feet and made my way to the garage door at which time the word "SNAKE" involuntary seeped through my lips. I honestly could not breath.  
With three doors open, Fred makes his way back to crime scene to capture the critter.  The critter is gone.  Shelby is at this point is contemplating calling 911 as she in convinced her mother is dying from a massive heart attack.  
Well as the story goes the next couple of hours is spent watching Fred with a hoe one by one taking items out of the vehicle.  All three drenched with sweat we finally concede, unhitch the boat and head off to our original destination "Sombreros.  My appetite was a bit off kilter but the Margarita served me well. Head home with leftovers that I have now decided to place in the car in case his culinary delights come in the form of Chicken Fajita meat.   Needless to say Fred gets booted out of his bed and daughter sleeps with mom.  Sad but true she slept with her IPHONE and periodically checked under the covers with the light from her phone.  

DAY 2
(For future references the little ass was not a fan of Mexican Food)
Reality sets in!!!  There are three possible scenarios.  
1.  Snake is still in vehicle
2.  Snake escaped during the wee hours of the morning
3.  Mother is Crazy!!   (let's not forget I am the only one who has seen the snake at this point, so number three is becoming  a very viable option.  
  
Nevertheless, as the sun comes up so do the efforts to locate this legless lizard.   
My fearless father arrives early, at which time the vehicle's guts are dismantled. Nothing!!!!!!  Seats, door panels compartments etc.  (after the back seat was removed I noticed a white spot with a green substance resembling a chalk like substance-I asked daughter if she knew what it was and she replied "No Idea".  I ran to my computer and googled snake poo and guess what I came up with.  You betcha!)    This goes on for several hours until the swat team decided to call off the search and___________.   Notice I did not type rescue as that was not at all in the plans if this fellow came out alive.  At this point I am beginning to sink into a black hole often referred to as depression.  I am now aware that the odds of finding him are about as good as me winning on a Video Poker Machine and I am also aware that not only do they think I am crazy, I am about to get the papers.  After a full day the crew pulls off the search and we decide to head off to a scheduled dinner party at some friends.   

Day 3

 Reality is really setting in and so is the rain.  What was to be a fun day with friends on the river turned out to be a stay at home with no hopes of resuming search efforts.   This day proved to be very frustrating for all of us.  My spirits were dwindling and I was truly wondering if I was completely losing my mind.  I say this with little humor as depression and confusion was truly setting in.  Did I mention that it is now Sunday and time for daughter to head back to school.  It was starting to look like a trip to the car dealership.  We badly needed to produce a snake.  Time was not going to heal this problem.  At this point I can tell Fred is starting to have some doubt.  He even tells daughter privately "Shelby I really believe your mom thinks she saw a snake but I don't think there is one in there?  He truly was not being disrespectful to me but the odds of this being real were just not there.  Regardless,  Shelby nor myself were getting into this vehicle for many reason.  First, we were scared out of our wits, secondly,  if there was a snake and it did come out while she was driving she would without a doubt wreck.  Wouldn't you?  What husband didn't know was that daughter immediately told me Fred's doubts.  Big mistake.  He was heading to the grocery store so I just very calmly said "Fred, why don't you take Shelby's car to the store and that will ease our minds a little in hopes of putting this behind us.  The exact reply was,  a laugh and "the hell I am".  Shelby fell out laughing and I of course felt much more validated.   

Day 4
Monday-I go to work, Shelby gets a ride to school and the car sits.  Fred's plan is to come home in the afternoon and start the search again.  I decide to come home at lunch and peek through the windows to see if I could see anything which is basically what I had been doing for three days.  I drop my stuff off inside and head straight to the side door where I tip toe to the window.  I cup my hands and press my eyes to the window and THERE HE IS.  I can only see his head which is peeking out from under the seat where I had originally seen him the first time but he was coiled up on the passenger seat.  I burst into tears for many reasons (a) I now know that I have not gone crazy and (b) my daughter did not become brave and decide she would drive the car.  The outcome could have and probably would have been horrific if the snake had come out while she was driving.  By the way we believe through reasonable deduction that the snake had been driving around with her for about a week.  Still to this day I have to shut my "out of control thoughts" off of what could have been.  Folks this was not a small garden snake.  He measured 3 1/2 feet and looked as if he hadn't missed many meals. 
Day three proved to be a failure for the swat team.  The only one feeling good about this was me.  I confirmed in my mind that there really was a snake.   I decided to call my dad first as he was just around the corner and if I had any chance of someone seeing this little devil it would be my dad.  I then called husband and began the wait for them to arrive, praying the entire time that one of them would see it.  Low and behold they all start flying in the driveway at once.  It was the swat team.  Fred, my mom and dad and half of Fred's employees.  Inside of car is dismantled and a three hour search continues.  Finally fearing for his life, the snake appears and makes a run to yet another location.  This time someone other then me sees him.  Thank you Tim!  Once again the waterworks start and I have officially been taken off of the list in the admissions department at the local crazy hospital.  I must say the husband truly felt bad and stopped his mission to come and hug his wife and offer his utmost apology for doubting me.  The excitement stopped there as the creepy crawler found himself a new hole and there was no way short of blowing up the car to get him out.  Nightfall approaches and the search team pulls off.  Another sleepless night for me knowing that he was still out my side door. He was winning this battle with no signs of surrendering.   

Day 5
Exterminator recommends a box with adhesive that is to be set up in the car with a container of water.  The idea is to lure him to water via a quick trip through this box and BAM your stuck.  I must say I had little faith in this procedure but by no means nothing to loose (but a snake).  We are told that a snake can live without food for sometime but water is a different story.  So the trap is set and we anxiously await nightfall in hopes of the big capture.  At 6:00 a.m. husband awakes me by flipping on the bedroom light.  "Mo-it's over. You might want to prepare yourself as he is much bigger then we thought. (remember only two of us have seen him and one of those is ME. ) 
When I tell you I almost went to my knees-he was stuck to the box and he was as mad as a hornet (or maybe an aggressive snake that was as pissed off as he could be).  At this point we have no idea what kind of snake it is  but were guessing it is not a "Good Snake".   Whatever the hell a good snake is.  And so the story goes.....snake is captured and yes he is destroyed.  I know there are snake lovers out there who will not agree with a snake's death sentence  but truly I do not give a damn.  I have had several people, when sharing the story, to voice their disappointment over his future or lack of.  He was trespassing and he caused our lives to be completely upside down for many days and many months to come.  And after sending pictures to a Biologist (friend of a friend) we established that he was a Texas Rat Snake. An aggressive snake yet a non-poisonous snake.  For those of you in the New Orleans Northshore area you may have just read (yesterday) the article in the Times Picayune about the snake that wrapped itself around a Christmas wreath on the front door.  The owner was not quite a lucky as me or possible my daughter.  He in fact got bitten in the head.  It was horrific.  The article goes on to tell you the identity of the snake and guess what he was.  A TEXAS RAT SNAKE!!!!  The man is fine-he was treated with antibiotics.  The story is funny to tell and truly quite unbelievable but do not think it wasn't and still is a very unsettling ordeal.   Our daughter was brave.  Getting back in that car was difficult and she didn't for several weeks.  The car was put back together and detailed.  Fred drove it home and after several hours of her trying to get back in she finally succeeded.  After a short mother/daughter drive with her legs curled up in the seat she backed out and headed for the Interstate.  I cried till I was sick, staring at the phone for her safe arrival back to Baton Rouge.   And so the story ends and all is well. 


SWAT TEAM
THE SNAKE CHARMERS IN ACTION


Yes, that is my father on the right with his face in the car right where the snake assumed his position for his dinner date to "Sombreros"

Mother sitting inside the car drenched wet and will not get out.
She said she needed to make sure he didn't escape without them seeing him.
Sure mom! 




So there is our snake story.  Not a pleasant blog  again my future blogs will be filled with Christmas helpful hints and ideas.  Happy Holidays and stay tuned for my very special blog all about our new Grandbaby.  He is a cutie.  By the way the corporate world was short lived.  Met lots of neat people but back to what I know best.   Enjoy!

1 comment:

katie@tulsadetails said...

Oh Mo!!! This is unreal!!!! I don't even like a moth in my house! I would DIE! Glad it had a happy ending.

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